Upside Down and Inside Out
by heath
Summary: The Slytherins have decided that they've had it with the Gryffindors. Fred, Hermione, and Padma Patil know they're up to something. Can they figure it out before the Gryiffindors completely hate each other? R/R
1. Those Blissful Gryffindors

Chapter One  
  
Those Blissful Gryffindors  
  
  
  
"That is so disgusting," Draco Malfoy heard Blaise Zambini say. He looked up to where the brunette was looking and saw Potter kissing the Weasley girl on the cheek. Sally-Anne Perks, who Blaise had been talking to made a gagging noise and the girls began to giggle.  
  
"Sometimes I think they forget that they aren't the only house that has to eat," Pansy Parkinson said from the other side of Sally-Anne. "They've been worse since Christmas holidays, if that's possible."  
  
"That's because they're in love," Sally-Anne said, rolling her eyes. "Well except for Granger, but all you'd have to do it look at her as to know why." Blaise and Pansy both nodded knowingly.  
  
"They're also up in house points," Draco finally said, it startled the girls. They looked over at him. "They're up by 100 points, all thanks to our fellow fifth years. Potter is Quidditch wonder boy and Granger did something fantastic in Transfiguration. Even Neville has melted any cauldrons lastly to loose them points," Draco told them through bites of food. Crabbe and Goyle nodded stupidly, but Draco surmised that Crabbe and Goyle would agree with Draco even if he said they needed to run through the school naked.  
  
"Ugh," Pansy said in disgust. "They can't win again. Slytherins never gone this long without winning the house cup." Blaise propped her head up with her arm and sighed loudly. Sally-Anne made a face.  
  
"I wish there was something we could…" Blaise began. Then her eyes popped open widely. "What if we were to 'help' Gryffindor lose their lead?" Draco smiled; he knew exactly where Blaise was headed.  
  
"Play havoc with their lives, you mean?" Draco asked. Blaise smiled. Sally-Anne got a wicked look on her face.  
  
"I've got just the idea that is for Potter and the Weasley girl" Sally-Anne began. "And it might help with the others."  
  
  
  
"The Slytherins keep staring at us," Fred Weasley told his twin brother George. George looked up at the table on the other side of the hall.  
  
"Probably because Harry can't keep his hands off of Ginny," George replied, looking totally uninterested. "Don't worry about it."  
  
"They look their planning something," Fred argued. George rolled his eyes.  
  
"Quit being paranoid," George told him. Fred bit his lip. No matter how much his brother wanted to downplay the Slytherins, he knew that they were up to something, and knowing them it involved Harry. He looked at his brother and then turned his attention to the fifth years at the end of the table.  
  
  
  
Hermione resisted the urge to vomit. Ron was being all goo goo over Lavender, so much in fact that he had actually missed his mouth and was wearing oatmeal in his lap. He still hadn't noticed. Harry and Ginny weren't much better in fact. Harry kept kissing Ginny's cheek and making it almost impossible for Ginny to eat her grapefruit. Seamus and Parvati were making eyes at each other, and then Dean was with his girlfriend Angelina Johnson. At least they were talking Quidditch, in fact that was all they talked about. Dean had replaced Oliver as Keeper on the Gryffindor team. She looked at Neville across form her and he made a face as well. He was too without a girlfriend, although Ron and Harry both insisted that Padma Patil was interested in him although Hermione seriously doubted that.  
  
Hermione finished her toast and opted go ahead of them and head to Potions early. But before she could head down the dungeons she heard footsteps behind her. She turned around and saw Lavender, Ron, Ginny, and Harry following her. She immediately rolled her eyes.  
  
"Where you headed 'Mione?" Harry asked her.  
  
"Potions like we do every Tuesday morning," Hermione replied, irritated. Harry of course didn't bother to notice. She surmised that Harry and Ginny were seeing good-bye. She turned around to see them staring at each other. They were holding hands. Ron and Lavender were too wrapped up in each other to notice.  
  
Hermione, wanting to keep her breakfast in her stomach headed off towards the dungeon, decided not to eat in the Great Hall for lunch.  
  
  
  
Harry watched Hermione leave out of the corner of his eye. He turned to Ron who was currently snogging Lavender.  
  
"Ron, do you think something is wrong with Hermione?" he asked. Ron pulled from Lavender.  
  
"It's Hermione, she probably just wanted to get to class early to suck up to Snape," Ron suggested.  
  
"Isn't it obvious?" Ginny asked. Lavender was looking at the two of them as if they were stupid. "She's lonely. She needs someone."  
  
"Well, erm, she has us, we're her best friends," Harry said, not quite sure that he was getting what Ginny was hinting out.  
  
"Not THAT type of someone," Lavender said. "She needs a boyfriend." Ron and Harry laughed. They idea of Hermione dating someone was laughable. The closest she'd ever gotten to a boyfriend was Viktor Krum and Hermione had ended things with him because he wasn't serious enough about his studies.  
  
"It's Hermione, give her a book and she'll be happy, she's not lonely," Ron said. "Hermione doesn't date."  
  
"Well, I think she should," Ginny said.  
  
"So do I," Lavender agreed.  
  
"And I'm going to find her someone," Ginny said.  
  
"We can get Parvati to help," Lavender shrieked. "That is if we can drag her away from Seamus. The talk continued like this until Ginny had to go another way to Charms. Lavender, Ron, and Harry entered the dungeon for another exciting Potions class.  
  
  
  
Next Time: A Course Of Action, the Slytherins play dirty  
  
A/N: Thanks for everyone who reviewed my completed story Always. I hope that this story is up to par! 


	2. A Course of Action

Chapter Two  
A Course Of Action  
  
  
Blaise leaned up against the dungeon wall. The Gryffindors and Slytherins were waiting for Snape to come and let them in for class. She looked at her watch, five minutes left. She heard footsteps running down the hall and looked to see Sally-Anne running towards her.  
"I've got it," she panted. Blaise raised her eyebrows.  
"So quickly?" Blaise asked. Sally-Anne nodded. She shoved the book that she had in arm into Blaise's. The cover read: 1,001 Harmless Charms. Blaise snickered and Sally-Anne raised her eyebrows.  
"Is Malfoy here yet?" Sally-Anne asked. Blaise shook her head. She was looking at the page Sally-Anne had bookmarked and was reading it over. It was all too simple really. All they had to do was use a quill, mutter an incantation with the person's name whose writing they wanted to mimic, and then as soon as anyone but the writer read the message it would look like the persons writing. It was all too simple yet, all too perfect.  
  
  
Hermione stirred her reddish Potion. Today she was working with Dean, lucky for her. She didn't want to get stuck with Neville. Especially not today when Snape was being extra vindictive. She added a few more fly wings to her potion and let it simmer. It was now turning a dark purple color, just exactly as it should. Dean smiled at her, Hermione was sure that he was grateful to have partnered her today. However, Hermione's happiness with her potion was short lived. Both she and Dean jumped when there was a loud explosion coming from the back of the classroom. She turned around expecting to see Neville with a melted cauldron, but it wasn't. It was Ron who happened to be working with Lavender.  
"MR. WEASLEY!" Snape roared. The Gryffindors jumped, the Slytherins sniggered. Ron and Lavender were both ashen face. Harry, Neville, Seamus, and Parvati were standing on their chairs so as to not get potion on them. Snape headed to the back of the class looking furious. "Perhaps if you and Miss Brown would stop making googly eyes at each other you would have remembered to add the fly wings AFTER the daisy roots. No signs of affection what so ever are permitted in this class, as I have told you both multiple times or perhaps you've been taking listening lessons from Mr. Longbottom?" Hermione bit her lip and she and Dean joined their classmates on top of their seats, the potion was slowly oozing on the dungeon floor. Neville's face was still pink from Snape's comment. "I suggest in the future the two of you not partner each other, because if this happens again, one of you will be taking Potions with the Ravenclaw and Hufflepuffs. Oh, and twenty-five points each to be taken from your house, and clean up this mess so that your house-mates can return to their seats." Hermione glared at them along with the rest of the Gryffindors while they mopped up the floor.  
  
  
Harry glared as he walked past Lavender and Ron. The two of them had been getting points taken off of their house since they'd started dating and it wasn't just in Potion's. The day before Sprout had taken points off for them fooling around during Herbology. Harry looked down at his Potions book. Their was a note sticking out of it. He pulled it out and looked at it. It was from Ginny.  
  
  
Harry-  
Sorry I can't say this to you in person, but we're over. I was just using you anyway to get to Neville. Neville and I are in love.  
Ginny  
PS- Don't even bother talking to this to me, I've made up my mind and you can't change it you stupid prat.  
  
Harry felt his heart break in two and jaw hit the floor. He sneaked a side glance at Neville, had Ginny been for real?  
  
  
Ginny felt her bag rip on her way to Charm's.   
"Damn," she muttered. She began trying to shove her things back into her bag. Someone leaned down beside her and she realized that it was once of the fifth year Slytherins. "What are you doing?"  
The girl looked up at her and smiled. "I just thought that I would help, but I should have known that a Gryffindor was above help."  
"Well, Slytherins are never this helpful, so you can see, I might think it a bit odd," Ginny spat back. The Slytherin girl gave her a cold smile and got up and walked away. She finally managed to get everything back into her bag and made it into her seat in Charms next to Colin Creevy. Colin smiled at her. She half smiled at him and pulled out her Charm book. There was a piece of parchment sticking out of it. She recognized the writing right away. It was from Harry.  
  
Ginny-  
Sorry to break it to you this way, but we're not working. Besides, I fancy someone else.  
Cheers,  
Harry  
  
What the hell is this, Ginny silently asked herself. How could affections change so quickly?  
  
  
Next Time: Hermione gets a sneaking suspicion.  
A/N: Before I get tons of people saying that Blaise is a boy let me say something. In the books it doesn't say whether Blaise is a boy or girl and since Blaise can be either a boys or girls name, I've chosen Blaise to be a girl, so please no, Blaise is a boy crap. Damn FF.net for messing up! Grr, kinda sucks doesn't it?  
KUDOS: Lux80, thanks, mystical, thanks thanks, they won't actually get to set Hermione up with anyone bc ya, you'll see, aw its ok if your not my first, I appreciate your reviews anyway, karigan, they're going to be typical Slytherins, nikki, who said it was going to be G/H? hrm, it'll be F/H of course! 


	3. Confusion

Chapter Three  
Confusion  
  
  
Hermione's hopes for a nice quiet evening in the Common Room when what seemed like a very loud explosion went off in her left ear. She looked up and realized that it wasn't an explosion. It was Ginny Weasley. Harry had just entered the Common Room and he looked as mad as Ginny. What could possibly have happened between breakfast and now to break up the vomit-inducing couple?  
Harry was now screaming something about Neville and Ginny the same time that Ginny was yelling about. She looked around the Common Room to see if anyone else had a clue as to what was going on, but the rest of them looked too stunned. Once the screaming had ended, Ginny ran up to her dormitory in tears and Harry went back out the portrait hole. Ron and Seamus followed him, Lavender and Parvati followed Ginny up the steps.  
"What was that about?" Hermione asked.   
"Harry got a note from Ginny today," Dean said. Before he could continue he was interrupted by a girl in Ginny's dorm whose name Hermione could never remember.  
"Ginny got the note from Harry," she spat, sending Dean evil looks.   
"Ya Harry was probably thanking Ginny for being a b-" Dean was interrupted by the portrait hole opening again, it was Neville. Dean gave him a look. "Run away Neville, run far far away."  
"What's going on? I was in the library when Padma Patil told me that if I knew what was good for me, I'd go hide out in my dormitory, and now you are telling me to run," Neville said, looking very confused.   
"Don't you know?" Dean asked, Neville shook his head. "You're the reason Ginny and Harry broke up."  
"I'm the what?" Neville asked confused.  
"I guess Ginny has a monstrous c-" Dean was interrupted by two things this time. The girl that had yelled at Dean before stomped up the steps, and the portrait hole was slammed opened by Ron, who by all accounts looked furious.  
"Where is she?" he demanded.   
"Where is who?" Hermione asked. By this point she was extremely confused. None of what anyone was saying made sense.  
"Lavender," Ron said. Dean pointed up towards the girls' dormitory. Not wanting to stay for the second screaming match of the night, Hermione grabbed her books and headed for the library. She passed Harry and Seamus on her way there, they didn't notice her. She caught part of their conversation.  
"-Lavender wanting an open relationship," Harry said.  
"She was fine earlier," Seamus said. Hermione bit her lip and found a chair in the library. Her thoughts were racing.  
"I would hate to be a Gryffindor tonight," someone said, jarring her out of her thoughts. Padma Patil was standing over her. "First Harry and Ginny, now Ron and Lavender."  
"Its kind of suspicious, don't you think?" Hermione asked, getting to what she thought Padma was hinting towards.  
"Especially since the Slytherins could not take their eyes off of our table this morning at breakfast." Both girls jumped when they heard the male voice interrupt. They looked up to see Fred Weasley. "I told George that I thought they were up to something, but he didn't believe me."  
"What are you doing here?" Hermione asked, this night was getting weirder and weirder. Hermione could have sworn that neither of the Weasley twins knew where the library was.   
"Well once I saw round one, I took off," Fred said.   
"You're lucky, I witnessed the whole thing. Apparently the rumor is, according to Dean, Neville was the reason Harry and Ginny broke up, but before he could explain, Ron came in screaming about Lavender, I didn't stay around for that," Hermione said.  
"Okay, I know about the Lavender thing," Padma said. "Ron had his bag with him and pulled out a spare piece of parchment for Harry to write something on, well, it was a note from Lavender saying that she wanted an open relationship."  
"That is so odd," Fred said.  
"Especially since less than 18 hours ago, Ron and Lavender couldn't get enough of each other," Hermione said. "We lost points in Potions again, because of them."  
"What could make four people change so much in less than a day?" Fred asked.  
"The Slytherins," the three of them said at the same time.  
  
  
"Where have you been?" Lee Jordan asked Fred when he returned to the dormitory.   
"Library," Fred replied. He, Hermione, and Padma had spent two hours in there just talking, well mostly about the Slytherins, but still, they, the two smartest fifth year girls had spent time talking to him. Most people just assumed that he was an idiot and didn't bother conversing with him, but the two of them had. They even laughed when he joked. It was nice, different.  
"Why were you in the library?" George asked, who had the expression on his face that Fred was sure that he might have accidentally said that he made out with Malfoy rather than him saying the world library.  
"Talking to Padma and Hermione," Fred replied, slipping his pajamas over his head. "They actually believe me when I say that I think the Slytherins are up to something," he thought.  
"Going for the smart girls, eh?" Lee asked, raising his eyebrows.  
"Something like that," Fred replied, rolling his eyes. "You know since they've both made it so obvious that they are just dying to shag me senseless."  
"I bet Hermione would be a good lay," George said looking up at the ceiling.  
"That's gross," Fred said throwing his shirt at his twin. "Hermione is like our little sister."  
  
  
Seamus reached into his bag, and found a note from Parvati the next morning. He groaned, half expecting it to be a note similar to the ones Ron and Harry had received, but it wasn't.   
  
Seamus-  
Meet me in the trophy room tonight. Can't wait.  
All My Love,  
Parvati  
  
  
Next Time: Padma overhears something in Herbology  
A/N: What do you guys think, eh? I like it. I know the breakups are a bit one right after the other, but hey, its fun.  
KUDOS: Lux80, mystical, I think that you are my most loyal reader, lol, thanks, karigan, Hermione won't get set up while everyones too miserable, figured out what the Slytherins are doing yet?, nikki, thanks!, k&mousetakingovertheworld, nice name btw! 


	4. They Think I Like Seamus

Chapter Four  
They Think I Like Seamus  
  
  
"Hermione!" Padma yelled running down the hallway after Herbology. She spotted Hermione walking down the hallway with Ron and Harry, both who looked a bit peeved after the incidents the night before. Hermione stopped, Padma slid as she turned the corner, and she saw the boys try not to laugh. "I need to talk to you!"  
"Tell Flitwick I'll be late, Prefect business," Hermione lied. The boys shared weird looks and went into the classroom together.  
"Did Seamus get a note?" Padma asked.   
"Not that I know of," Hermione replied, looking a bit confused.  
"Ask him," Padma said, panting. "It's a trick; I heard the Slytherins talking about it in Herbology. Blaise is going to show up and kiss Seamus, so that Parvati thinks that he's cheating."  
"Why are they doing all of this?" Hermione asked.   
"I haven't a clue, but he's supposed to meet Parvati in the Trophy Room," Padma explained. "I'll be waiting there, I'll try to distract Blaise, and you try to distract Seamus. I'm sure Fred will help." The bell rang. "I've got Care of Magical Creatures, I've got to go."  
"Tell Hagrid that you were talking to me about something, he won't get to angry." Padma nodded and ran back down the hallway.  
  
  
"Seamus has a hot date with Parvati tonight," Dean said to Ron, giving him a knowing look. Ron shared much of the same look back. Hermione, who was sitting between them, looked up. She gave Ron a funny look "She wrote em a love note and everything!"  
"Was it in her handwriting?" Hermione blurted out.  
"Uh, yah," Dean said, giving her a look that said that he thought she was crazy.  
"Who else would have written it?" Ron asked, giving her about the same look.  
"Well he can't go!" she blurted out.  
"Why not?" Ron asked, confused to why his friend was acting so oddly. The night before she'd been in the library with Padma Patil, who she never talked to, and Fred. And then today, Padma had stopped her in the hallway.   
"Because, because, he just can't," she said shrilly. Dean smiled at Ron over Hermione's head and gave him another knowing look, Ron instantly got the message.  
"I know what this is about," Ron said.  
"You do? That's bloody fantastic then!" she said, looking suddenly happy.  
"You like Seamus," Ron said. Hermione looked at him horrified and stomped out of the Great Hall.  
  
  
"They think I like Seamus!" Hermione hissed to Fred once she found him.  
"Who thinks you like Seamus?" Fred asked.  
"Ron and Dean, and now probably all of Gryffindor!" Hermione wailed. She did not like Seamus, not at all. She could barely stand him.  
"Chill out," Fred told her, in a soothing voice. "What was the big news you had for me anyway, it couldn't have been this." It took her a minute to remember why she had in fact told Fred she needed to talk to him.   
"We have to stall Seamus," Hermione said. "The Slytherins are trying to set him up."  
"How?"  
"Somehow they sent him a note from Parvati saying that she wants to meet him in the Trophy room tonight, however, they sent one to Parvati too, but when Parvati's there he is going to be kissing Blaise."  
Fred bit his lip. "Okay, actually, if Seamus thinks that you have a crush on him, this might just work perfectly." Hermione groaned.  
  
  
Fred grinned from behind the tapestry he was hiding behind; he was there to watch Hermione's little performance. She kept giving him nasty glares from in front of the portrait of the Fat Lady where she was hoping to intercept Seamus. Padma was down in the Trophy Room. Finally Seamus came out and Fred could here the boys in the Common Room giving him "advice". Fred snorted, and received a nasty look from Hermione.  
"Seamus!" she said, her voice unnaturally high.  
"Hermione, I can't chat, I've got to meet Parvati," Seamus said.  
"I need to talk to you."  
"Look Hermione, I know you like me." Fred had to stop from snorting when he said that. "But I'm sorry; I just don't feel the same about you. I love Parvati."  
"I was trying to tell you that I don't like you. At all." Fred could have sworn that he heard Seamus' ego deflate.  
"Oh. Well bye then."  
"Seamus wait!" Hermione shouted. He heard her take off down the hall, and Fred left his cover to follow her. They had to stop Seamus from getting into that room. Fred entered the room right after Hermione. He was stunned by what he saw.  
"Well," Fred finally said. "The good news is that he isn't kissing Blaise. The bad news is that's Padma not Parvati." Fred heard a gasp and saw an extremely horrified Parvati. He turned to look back at Padma and Seamus. Padma pushed Seamus away and Seamus just looked confused.  
  
  
  
Next Time: Another set of twins meets their match  
A/N: Sorry for the shortness, I just want this fic to move quickly. Its supposed to be a fun, fast-moving fic, not like A Truth Revealed.  
KUDOS: mystical, I so agree on the good fics never being updated, no one on my fave authors or stories lists EVER update, its so annoying, thanks for recommending me, Maddy, thank you thank you, karigan, no good news for poor Seamus unforantly, you didn't think that I would make him happy when everyone else is miserable, Beckieboo Two, nah they don't *yet, well then only one of them will* George was just being a typical guy when he said that, Shang Pheonix, everyone loves G/H ships, but I hope I am making a way for F/H ships, or helping the way, Katrina Arlay, thanksels 


	5. Famous Last Words

Chapter Five  
Famous Last Words  
  
  
Padma wasn't sure who looked more horrified, her, Seamus, Hermione, or Fred. She had followed Blaise to the Trophy Room, trying to convince her that she had some Prefect business that she needed to share. Blaise had eventually ran ahead of her, and Padma tried following her, but gave up and went to the Trophy Room to see if she was there. She wasn't. She had met Seamus, and Seamus apparently didn't pay much attention to the color of her school uniform, because he had kissed her. She'd tried pulling away, but Seamus was stronger that her, and had his arms wrapped around her. Finally she stomped on his foot, and he pulled away. That's when she'd seen her twins face.  
She gulped and waited for the fury that was her twin. Parvati looked between the two of them, apparently deciding which deserved it more.  
"I can't believe you Padma," Parvati finally spat. Ah, she thought miserably, the lucky winner is me. "You're my twin! I never thought that you would use my own boyfriend against me."  
"Against you?" Padma asked, raising an eyebrow. "Trust me it wasn't by choice that Seamus was trying to stick his tongue down my throat. I am just an innocent bystander. I would never hurt you on purpose, that is the last thing that I would ever want to do." Parvati bit her lip. "I'm you're twin… hello. Besides I don't even like Seamus." Parvati seemed to believe her twin, because her eyes filled with tears and she gave her a hug. She watched her twin's eyes flick towards Seamus. Oh she would hate to be him tonight.  
"Let's go," she muttered to Fred and Hermione. They took off down the hallway just as Parvati began yelling.  
  
  
"At least, she wasn't angry with you," Fred told Padma as they headed to the library.   
"I know, I don't envy Seamus for being on the receiving end of Parvati's wrath," Padma said shuddering.  
"I thought that you were going to try and stop Blaise," Hermione said as they turned into the library.  
"I did," Padma replied. "Well I tried, she lost me so then I decided to go to the Trophy Room and Seamus kissed me. Ugh, I thought that I was going to puke."  
"I bet, I wonder what Parvati sees in Seamus," Hermione replied.  
"Oh he's so sweet and romantic and nice," Padma said, imitating her twin's voice perfectly. Fred rolled his eyes.  
"You guys are going to make me puke," he told them. Fred saw the Slytherins in a corner once he entered the Library. Hermione opened her mouth to reply, but Fred put one finger up to his lips and nodded towards the Slytherins, she nodded and elbowed Padma in the ribs, tilting her head towards them. Padma grinned and the three of them silently made their way to a bookshelf behind the Slytherins table.  
"You should have seen the look on Patil's face, it was priceless," Fred heard Blaise say. Padma made a face. "Padma showing up was perfect, and then I wouldn't have to kiss Finnigan. Ugh, I would have to use cleansing Potions for the next month." There was the sound of snickering, Fred rolled his eyes. Hermione and Padma just looked furious.  
Someone else began to speak and Fred recognized the cocky tone immediately. It was Malfoy. "Who's next on our list?"  
"Katie Bell and George Weasley," someone said. He didn't recognize the voice.  
"We really shouldn't discuss this here," Blaise said. "Last night one of the Weasley twins, Padma, and Granger were hanging out here. We don't want to be overheard." Apparently the Slytherins agreed because he heard the sound of chairs scooting around. He pushed Padma and Hermione into a different section, not wanting the Slytherins to catch the three of them eavesdropping.  
"Any ideas?" Fred asked. The two girls shrugged.  
  
  
"We really can't be to careful Draco," Blaise said, once they were in the safety of their own Common Room. "Granger is used to solving mysteries; she'll be bound to catch on. Even if she isn't a Pure Blood."  
"Very true," Sally-Anne chimed in.   
"Plus Padma was trying to stop me, she must have an idea of what we were trying to do," Blaise continued. "From now on, let's only talk about things here and at lunch if Padma isn't close by. The rest of the Ravenclaws are too obsessed with making good grades to notice or even care if we are talking about something." Draco nodded.  
"What was your plan for Bell and Weasley?" Pansy asked.  
"Well the twin thing worked once…" Blaise said slyly and then began explaining it to the rest of them.  
  
  
"Oy," Hermione said the next morning as she and Fred walked down to breakfast. They were some of the last people to leave Gryffindor Tower. "I didn't think that I was ever going to get to sleep last night."  
"Parvati crying?" Fred asked.   
"No, actually, I was subjected to listening to how boys are awful, blah blah blah, all from Lavender, Parvati, and Ginny. Apparently she heard about Parvati's and Seamus' split and came into our dorm to console Parvati," Hermione complained. Fred immediately felt sorry for her. They made their way to the table. He groaned when he saw where everyone was seated. Lavender, Ginny, and Parvati were at one end; Seamus, Harry, and Ron were at the other end, and the couples in the very center of the table.  
"You know," Fred told Hermione. "The Ravenclaw table is looking very good right now. " She nodded in agreement. He looked over at where Padma was sitting and she gave them a sympathetic look. Hermione went and sat with Harry and Ron, Fred sat with his twin and the rest of the happy couples.  
"You've been spending an awful lot of time with Hermione," George said. Fred sent him a dirty look. George patted him on the back. "If you fancy her Fred, Katie and I…"  
"Anything for my boyfriend's twin," Katie said, flipping her light brown hair.  
"We don't want to see you single and lonely," Lee said.  
"Hermione's really nice," Angelina put in.  
"She always helps me with my Charms homework," Dean said.  
"I think it's really sweet that you fancy her," Alicia said. The last comment got to him. Fred immediately stood up. "I do not fancy Hermione Granger." He stomped out of the Great Hall. However, he hadn't gone far enough not to hear his twin call.  
"Famous last words!"  
  
  
Next Time: The calm before the storm…  
A/N: Fred doesn't like Hermione, really, *snickers*.  
KUDOS: Tainted Thoughts, thankels, mystical, sorry chica, I know the last paragraph was confusing, but it was meant to be…, Maddy, here is more, yayness, Moony's Nymph, thanks, Beckieboo Two, yes yes I know that it was a bit confusing, sorry! 


	6. Not On My Agenda

Chapter Six  
Not On My Agenda  
  
  
Blaise felt a hard shove into her ribs. She looked to see Pansy sitting next to her.  
"Ow, what the hell do you want?" Blaise said irritably looking at her friend.  
"Did you just see that?" Pansy asked, way too happily, in Blaise's opinion, for 9AM.  
"All I want to see is a nice warm bed," Blaise said, taking a sip of her tea. "Why what did I miss?"  
Pansy huffed and rolled her eyes. Blaise took another sip of her tea and rolled her eyes as well, she just wish Pansy would spit out whatever it was she wanted to gossip about. Sally-Anne came in, also looking way too damn perky.  
"Did you see that?!" she squealed.  
"What?" Blaise asked, even more irritably.   
"You saw it too?" Pansy asked, clearly delighted. The two of them shared knowing looks and Blaise thought that she was about to explode.  
"Would you two just bloody tell me!" she finally yelled. Most of the Ravenclaws, including Padma, turned and stared at her. She gave them a nasty look and they went back to their business.  
"Fred Weasley likes Granger," Pansy finally said.  
"I'm trying to eat!" Blaise replied. She shuddered at the thought of anybody liking Granger.  
"I know, I know, but it's perfect," Sally-Anne said with glee.  
"We send a note to Granger from Weasley, then we send a note to Bell from the other Weasley and vice versa, they won't even know what's going to hit them!" Pansy said, low enough for only Blaise and Sally-Anne to hear.  
"Do you think that they'll fall for it?" Blaise asked, raising an eyebrow. "Even Gryffindors aren't that stupid."  
"I guess you're right Blaise, that would be a little too easy for them to figure out, wouldn't it?" Pansy said, looking thoughtful.  
"I think that doing anything too soon wouldn't be wise ladies," someone said. Blaise knew who the person with the familiar drawl was already.  
"Morning Draco," Blaise said, taking a bit of toast. "And I must say that I agree."  
"Especially since I narrowly escaped death from one Fred Weasley," he replied, sliding into the seat next to her. She smiled at him and couldn't help but notice how good he looked this morning. Was it just this morning or was it every morning? She shook her head. Boys were not on her agenda. Especially not boys like Draco Malfoy.  
"What happened?" Pansy asked.  
"He stalked out of the hall, muttering something, I only caught Granger and asinine, and then I was merely headed into the entrance, when he decided that he had grown roughly the size of an elephant and needed the whole doorway, and he shoved me out of the way," Draco said, stirring his tea. Blaise noticed Pansy give Draco a flirty smile and he returned the smile. Blaise rolled her eyes. Draco was definitely not on her agenda.  
  
  
"Hermione wait up!" Hermione turned to see Padma running after her a huge grin on her face. "Are you headed to Arithmancy?"  
"Yes, I was just going to stop by the Tower and pick up my books, want to walk with me?" Hermione asked.  
"Actually yes," Padma replied, still with the stupid grin. "What happened at breakfast?"  
"I ate," Hermione replied, very confused.   
"No, no, with Fred," Padma said, rolling her eyes.  
"Oh, I'm not exactly sure," Hermione replied. "I was too busy thinking about how I would have rather ate at the Ravenclaw table. Honestly if they would only talk it out, they would discover rather easily that this whole thing is a set up, but they're all too stubborn to."  
"True," Padma began. "But that's not what I was talking about. I was wondering if you noticed a certain Weasley stomping out of breakfast this morning, saying how much he didn't like you, when the opposite is rather obvious." Hermione gave Padma a funny look and she could hear Padma sigh. "Fred?"  
"Oh that," Hermione said.   
"Yes that."  
"Fred Weasley does not like me. He said it himself. Besides the day that Fred Weasley, or any other male for that matter, likes me is the day that I grow a second head," Hermione said crossly.  
"I hope you have fun with that second head," Padma muttered, soft enough for Hermione not to hear.  
  
  
  
"Padma says that we're overreacting," Parvati said, later that day during dinner. "She says that if we opened our eyes wide enough that we'd see why all this happened."  
"Bullocks," replied Ginny.  
"Exactly," Parvati replied. "Just because she's in Ravenclaw she thinks she knows everything. Well I've got news for her. Seamus Finnigan is a no good…"  
Fred was about to scream. He had listened to the three of them go on and on about the topic of Harry, Seamus, and Ron for most of the meal, and he was about sick of it. Of course, he had arrived at dinner late, so he was stuck in the only seat that was available, right next to Lavender, who conviently enough was sitting with his little sister and Parvati. He rolled his eyes as they started once again.   
"Your sister's right," Fred finally said, once Parvati mentioned Padma's 'asinine' theory once again.  
"Not you too," Ginny said.  
"He's only siding with them because they're boys, and boys have to stick together," Lavender said.  
"No, I fully agree with Padma's theory," Fred said. "And not to side with the boys either."  
"Just stay out of it Fred," Ginny said, raising her chin. "We're happy being single."  
Liar, Fred thought. He finished off his dinner as quickly as he could and left the Great Hall.   
"Hey Fred, wait up!" he turned and saw Harry and Dean Thomas headed towards him.   
"What's going on, please tell me that no one else has broken up, please," Fred said.  
"No, nothing like that," Harry replied with a bit of a smile. "Just reminding you of Quidditch practice tonight."  
"Aye, aye, Captain," Fred said with a mock salute.  
Harry and Dean both smiled. "We've told the others already, we've got that game against Ravenclaw coming up and we could use all the extra practice we can get." He nodded in a reply. Ravenclaw was really good this year, and if they weren't careful, they could easily lose to them.  
"So what was that display at breakfast, eh?" Dean asked, as they three boys walked to Gryffindor Tower.  
"What display?" Fred asked, hoping they weren't referring to him stomping out of breakfast.  
"The one where you stomped out screaming that you don't fancy Hermione," Dean replied.   
"Oh that," Fred replied, feeling his ears turn red. Harry was now looking at him with a raised eyebrow. "Maybe it's because you all were irritating me to hell."  
"To hell?" Harry asked.  
"You weren't there," Fred replied. He explained to Harry what happened earlier, and Harry shrugged.  
"Girls aren't worth messing with," Harry said.   
"You're just saying that because Ginny fancies Neville," Dean retorted. Fred felt like banging his head up against the wall.   
"Ginny does NOT fancy Neville, no offense to Neville, he's a nice chap and all, but trust me he doesn't like her," Fred began explaining. "Can none of you see how obviously set up this is?"  
"Paranoia," Harry whispered to Dean loud enough for Fred to hear. "George told me that Fred swears that the Slytherins are after us. Mental, totally mental." Dean nodded and Fred let out a scream.  
  
  
Next Time: More paranoid people that are actually paranoid!  
A/N: Yes, I have finally churned out another chapter, if you want to read fics that I actually update more often go read The Truth Revealed, or if you are a Hermione/Fred shipper go read Always. Or…*smiles sweetly* if you really luuuuuuuuurve me go read the rest of my fics.   
KUDOS: Maddy, LilyAyl, BeckiebooTwo, D.James, Satan's Lunch Box, love the name, mystical, I thought about that, but I'm kind of attached to Padma and I don't want to make her bitchy, fire faerie, Snufalufagus 


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